June 2011 Archives

Transformers transformed from bad to, well, bearable.

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Yesterday was a grim day. The gods have turned away, and instead of doing anything sensible I had to watch Transformers3. It's still unclear to me how that happened, and I do presume that some unconsciousness and body dragging was involved, but here I am, unable to unsee it. 

If fact, it wasn't that bad. It is definitely better when two first movies. For a change, huge ugly robots stopped tickling each other as they did in T1 and finally start shedding some light on each other's robotic guts, purportedly dying in the process. 

Two thing amazed me in this movie. First one is an utter indifference to what's happening coming from most actors: they really looked like the director took they loved once hostage and chained them to a piping in his cellar unwilling to let them go before movie is finished. I am not sure if a living being could care less than those guys. Science has a lot to learn from them. 

Second thing was the fact that now, apparently, it is possible to hire only certain parts of an actor. It struck me the moment I saw that new bimbo in the movie: for most part only her lips were moving while the rest of the girl remained rather wooden. It's almost like at some stage her lips told the producer something along the lines of: "Sure, we'll take part in your movie, the only trouble that there is a pretty wooden girl attached to us on the other end, so you'll have to take her in too". Or maybe there was some other interaction between lips and producer, I'm too young to know those things... 

Anyway, transformers is an excellent movie if you are interested how the hell it is possible to make a rather boring 2.5 hour film about massive robots (I really hope that this production cast will keep away from ninjas, zombies and other awesome things killer robots were once part of) and how some good human actors can be made to care so little of what they are doing. Or, for that matter, how can lips actually bounce and have a life of their own.

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